Year 2 and What's New

2 YEARS 👉🏼 2020-2022

July 8th is my anniversary with myself. I saw my social media memories pop up that day and almost shared it, but decided that I’d wait until I had the time to really cover all of the information I wanted to about this. This now marks 2 YEARS that I’ve been working on myself: physically, mentally, and emotionally. 

I made the decision to share this on social media as a piece of accountability and during that first year, it truly helped keep me motivated. Knowing that I have even one person watching me and keeping up with what I am attempting to accomplish was enough to keep me going. I worked out mostly at home using Beachbody, which I am forever grateful for, with the occasional appearance in the gym, until I stepped away from that “for good” for personal reasons. I was learning to make more positive healthy food choices and slowly started dropping old habits. I focused heavily on the scale and. inches lost, utilizing my scale as a tool and positive experience. In case you’re new to this blog and my journey with this, here’s the quick lowdown on year 1:

• Down almost 50 pounds (Starting weight: 330, July 8, 2021 weight: 285)
• 21.5 inches off of my body in various spots.
• Down three pants sizes (24 to. 18) and two shirt sizes (3X to 1X)

Flash forward to this year and I really don’t even know where to start. 

My mental health was at an all time low. I had to realize that just because my physical health was getting better doesn’t mean that my mental health will follow suit. I started therapy weekly, continued to take my anxiety medication and started utilizing my antidepressant/sedative that the doctor prescribed to me so that I would sleep better. This is one piece of EXACTLY what I needed then and what I need now. There's no shame in needing help. The other piece (and most important factor in all of this) was my support system. I have had multiple conversations with my closest friends and family that often were hard to have, but were very much needed (even if I didn't realize it at the time.) They helped show me my worth and gave me strength that I desperately needed at times. For that, I have to say thank you. Thank you for listening without judgement, loved me without conditions, and brought sunshine to my life when my skies were gray. 

A close friend of mine shared a quote today that resonated so deeply with me and it said, "We are not on Earth long enough to be living unhappy." Holding onto negative emotions and experiences truly does nothing but hurt our hearts. This past year showed me just that and I no longer am choosing to do that. Happiness is a choice and that’s what year three is going to be about!

Now that the heavy stuff is out of the way, let’s focus on the other pieces of year two on this journey of self-discovery! (That sounds so weird, but really, that’s what this is…right?) 

I made a promise to myself when I started this that I was going to be as authentic and open as possible if I am putting my life out there for other people to read about. (Kudos to you out there that do actually read these; my life isn't all that interesting, but you've survived reading about it like it is.)

Update on my weight: 

I am up two pounds from where I was July of last year. Last year, I was at. 285.  This year in the same month, I am at 287. Sounds like maintenance, right? I wish! In October, I was at my smallest weight in years at 268. This means, I have put back on almost 20 pounds in the last few months. I have fallen into some bad habits again, which is a little frustrating.  I could mentally beat myself up over this, but again, I am choosing to be happy where I am in this moment. I still the same “size” that I was last year, even with the gain. I am still down 45 pounds, more confident and stronger than I have ever been.

My WHY changed. There’s nothing wrong with that; my focus just shifted to doing more of what makes me happy. I’m back in the gym, trying new things and branching out from what is comfortable because it makes me happy. I am spending time with my people, whether in person or on the phone because of distance, because again, it brings me joy. I am trying to embrace changes because they are inevitable. My dad told me a long time ago, "Control what you can control and fuck the rest," and this is exactly what I am going to continue to attempt moving forward.

I'll keep you posted, but I am confident that THIS YEAR, year three, is going to be the best year yet.